Creating Sustaining Counselling Conversations in the Face of Grief

Traditional approaches in the field of death and bereavement focus on “letting go” and “moving on” from the memories of our deceased loved ones. Often, this approach overemphasises the finality of death and disconnects grieving clients from important relationships in their lives. Dr. Lorraine Hedtke?s work represents a departure from conventional ways in which death and grief are thought of. “Re-membering” practices are a narrative approach to grief psychology that emphasize the ongoing story of relationship. Drawing on practices of storytelling, narrative legacy and rituals, the goal is to keep relationships alive long after death. From this perspective, grief becomes an evolving and creative opportunity for story development and change, rather than an unpleasant task to be worked through as quickly possible. In this course, Dr. Hedtke works with Rhiannon, a 25-year-old woman whose father passed away 6 months ago. Rhiannon describes, in vivid detail, her free-spirited dad who raised her and her sister as a single parent. In his final years, roles were reversed, and Rhiannon took care of her father as he died a slow and difficult death. Rhiannon comes to the session still in grief over her father's death, and looking for ways to be more at peace. Rather than generating stories of “goodbye” and completing unfinished business, Dr. Hedtke works with Rhiannon to find ways in which the love for her father can be maintained and nurtured. The session focuses on the continuation of the life of Rhiannon's father rather than on the dwelling of his death.